My oldest, Kadence turned 12 this month! 12! I can remember holding, cradling her and observing her every move for the first time – like it was just this very day. I remember when she turned 6, she wanted a wizard of oz birthday party. Family and friends came to adore her. She had ruby slippers on, her favorite dinner and a gorgeous rainbow layered cake. I remember thinking this is half was to 12! But that’s forever away…not anymore. 

She’s an amazing young lady. With so many talents. Her heart is truly a treasure and made of gold. Her arrival was because of many miracles and love. So much love. 

When your the first kid – your the first to do all the new things…the wild or lame ideas your parentals have. Alas we started something new. 12 year vacay dates. A little getaway with each parent – just the two of us. 

Kadence and I had the opportunity to visit family in California for a bridal shower. I quickly knew this would be a great getaway for us. My sweet mother in law flew down with us as well. We all enjoyed our time together. 
While on the plane Kadence and I watched Rogue One – our movie of choice. We lip sang to Hamilton. We shared all the pink starbursts and even a smidge of diet Mtn Dew. We stared out the window at the wonder of the earth. 

A few things I learned while having this experience:

– this was the first time in 10 years Kadence didn’t have to share her time. Don’t get me wrong, sharing time isn’t a bad thing at all. But it was a wonderful thing for her growing pre teen soul to have devoted time. 

– when there are less distractions there really is more meaningful time to enjoy. Time to observe. Time to laugh. Time to just sit. Time to explore. Time to try new things. 

– we got to do the things that she wanted to do without the gruff of anyone else. That was probably my favorite. We both benefit from no one else’s whining. Sooooo we sat with our feet in the pool. She swam with cousins for hours. We took walks around the ranch. We played with our favorite Australian shepherd, dusty. We visited the horses. Walked around the lemon trees. They smell divine. We took Grama betsy on a late night run to In N Out – her first time! We visited with favorite family members who live far away. It really was just the being together that made this “the best trip ever”

– we went to “Harry Potter world”. I wish I could have recorded her the whole day. We walked into universal and she was beaming – but like on steroids. Then we made our way to Hogsmead. She squeezed my hand and said “I’m just so happy to be here with you. Mom, I’m tearing up.” Thennnn I was tearing up. Her dreams were coming true. We both agreed how much we missed Dad and the others. But we were so grateful for this time together. 

– I learned that no matter how we try, we can’t savor it all or slow time down. But I can try to make each day matter. Each day be filled with love. Some days are so hectic, granola bars are for breakfast and cold cereal is for dinner. Some days are perfect. Some are the worst ever. But each is a gift. 

– this weekend together with my favorite 12 year old was a true gift. I gained a stronger appreciation for the young woman Kadence is becoming. It is an honor to be her mom.

Moral of the story : we need long periods of time just one on one with each child. They are all SO very different. What they need from us isn’t so different though : time and love.